Not good enough

Nowadays I am hooked to Photography. I got in late as like many others I have finally realized that I am no good in front of the camera, hence the decision to go behind it.

I am also listening to Classical Music. You may say what’s the big deal? You see it is a big deal for me. I am doing something, where I know I am not good enough. Listening classical also needs knowledge of music. It took me time to get over the phobia. Lasting memory of my life is to hear that I am not good enough. I was not good enough in studies, not good for music, not skilled enough for sports, not serious enough to be a writer, not a good son, neither a good husband nor a father. In short I am aware I am not good enough. But like many others, I wanted to come first in my class, play sitar in front of an audience, cherished the dream of representing country in sports, write poetries and novels.

I was going through the daily grind, waiting for that perfect moment, when everything else will take a backseat and I will be free to chase wild goose, my dreams.

Last year I purchased a DSLR as a gift for my wife. As luck would have it, I was not good enough to choose that perfect gift. She found it too cumbersome and settled for our old aim and shoot camera. I ended up as proud owner of a DSLR with absolutely no knack for photography. I started with tics and tacs with prime idea of convincing myself that the camera was indeed cumbersome and should be discarded.

Days moved into weeks and weeks into months, I am still debating, waiting to click few more shots before settling the argument. I look back at the snaps taken over this period, I know no one is bothered, but I notice the differences in my clicks. It was encouraging me to chase that dream of being good enough. Even if no one knows, I know that I am better than what I was six months ago. It is good enough progress for me.

I was inclined to include some snaps of clicked, but decided against it. Let them remain as my sweet nothings with me for some more time…